You Tryin To Be My New BFF?

Well ladies, it’s your lucky day.  I have an open slot for a new gal pal and - you may want to sit down for this - IT COULD BE YOU. I know, I know, it’s pretty exciting but take it down a notch, sister because I have a few qualifications we need to discuss first. 

My current top 5 ladies. Do you have what it takes to be next?

***The following are in no particular order; each qualification is judged equally.

You can’t be a loser. No, I’m not talking about popularity here because believe me, most of my friends are totally lame. I’m talking about in games/challenges. I’m a girl who doesn’t like REALLY HATES to lose so if we are ever on a team, you better not bring me down. Basically what I’m getting at here is that if you suck at Catch Phrase, read no further.

Ole' Susan in the green there caused our team to lose so you won't be seeing her picture around these parts again.

You must like to drink.  I like to throw ‘em back and I need you to be on board with that; preferably you should be able to drink no less than one full bottle of wine in one sitting but I’m not setting any fine lines there.

I suppose if you are pregnant, I will turn a blinde eye on it.

Must be open to extremely hot climates. I roll around in the Ranger with the heat blowing full blast all year round. What can I say? I like my face to be so hot that it burns. If you wear contacts, I need you to be open to the fact that they are most likely going to melt in your eyes.

You must not get embarrassed easily. My dance moves look strikingly similar to the way I assume it would look if I were to have a seizure and I bust them out frequently. In addition, I often have really terrible hair days and I smile extra long at people just to make them feel uncomfortable.

Must compliment my nephew/dog a lot. I just really like them. I will send you way too many pictures of them and post way too many pictures of both of them on my facebook/instagram and I just really need to hear that you love them too. But then again, why wouldn't you?

If you think you have what it takes, I'm all ears. 

Actually, I'm a pretty bad listener so just go ahead and send me vodka.